It's been a while

Yup, it's been a while since I last met my friend Jane :) A former head-prefect in my primary school. Went to visit her on Christmas Day since she was alone in the house. Things were as same as always. She's getting better :) More hardworking and more skilled in playing flute. I'm impressed :) Since she doesn't have any music background, it's hard to pick up musical knowledge easily, but amazingly, she adapted it fast. She even knows to cook her own lunch and dinner o.0..Unlike me..HAHA..That's all for it. bye :)

Mini Concert

Yup..Certs were given..prizes were given..but too bad..I was just this near to distinction..Few more marks then I can get a RM 100 voucher of books and a freaking cool trophy =/ Whatever has pass has passed...Never mind..I will not cry over spill milk..Here's some pictures for you to see =) I screw up for my performance too =/ Too nervous..How am I gonna perform in Jusco if I'm already that nervous for this small little thing?

Nervous like shyt

Still nervous...

The amazing boy! he can play the piano...When there's a will, there's a way..He prove it right =)

That is all for now.. I'll blog..when I have something to blog in the future..Bye bye

Nankurunaisa!

Yup, sadness and sorrowfulness. We often experience that, it's life after all. Sometimes, when you've work hard for something and you didn't get what you've expected, that certainly is a sad thing. It's even more sad when you even have high hopes for it. Things have reasons for it to go wrong. Hard work always pay and I believe it. Though there's time where I failed badly and ended up being sad like for the whole week but when I think again. If there's isn't failure, there wouldn't be success. So, I've just got to try harder next time. Second chance always happen. We have the choice to change our fate and life. For example, sitting in an exam. If you had just study for the test earlier, you would know how to do it isn't. If you just be more careful in the test, you wouldn't be getting careless mistakes isn't. All this phenomena is not natural, it is caused by our own self. If we just study earlier and  take more precaution...wouldn't life be better?

        You see, humans are weak beings. This is why there's this word company exist. If you're sad, find a friend or two to hear your sorrows out. If you insist keeping it to your own, it's okay. But it'll be very painful because you're keeping all the sadness to yourself. Cry and do whatever you want. Crying helps a lot  =) So, I bid goodbye and best of luck and health to all of you. Remember be happy always and think through think twice before acting.

''The You of yesterday and the You of today joining together will  become the You of tomorrow. Don’t forget who you are.''

''Live today, and smile tomorrow.''

''If you live life to the fullest, look forward to tomorrow, things will work out. Nankurunaisa!''

Should I?

The face you showed me, the pitiful face
Should I retreat? Should I call for peace?
I once thought, maybe you deserve a second chance,
I tried to reach you once more,
Trying to talk to you, like we used to talk to each other,
Laugh, shout, play, run, sing, study and so on...
Countless of stuff I wish to share again with you,
But you gave me a really cold shoulder
How should I react to that?
Now, who is ignoring each other?

Distance

There's this distance between us, a really big gap.
No matter how many planks of wood I put, it just doesn't connects you.
The hope I have once, has now disappear.
The 1% of hope that I wanna still believe on has now gone too.
Where's your heart now? Where have your mind gone too?
Was it swept away by the big wave from the ocean?
Or the big gust of wind?
Why let your heart waver?
Why choose the evil?
Why not the pure?
I wish I could do something to help you,
But you've fall into the big pitched-black hole,
I no longer can feel the way you are last time.
Because the distance between us, just gets further apart.

by : keetzesan

Appreciation

Hmm, appreciation. It doesn't really relate to my topic here but anyway, here I go . 

I do really appreciate friendship and indeed I do treasure it. I know I might have treated you bad at times, that is why I need you to tell me. If anything is really going wrong about me,tell me. There's times I thought, can I trust her? Will it be alright if I be her friend or something like that.

But now, the me was different, I accept changes no matter how hard it is *I do complain too but I got used to it eventually* because I've been through situations like this. I no longer thought of all those questions because I'm blessed with great friends. 

But recently, changes has come and destroy it but, is it really changes the cause of it? Or was it the person itself is destroying it? I believe the person itself is destroying his/her happiness. I'm not particularly saying anyone here but when happiness goes, it's partly your fault. Think of  have you did. 

Sometimes I really can get frustrated about small things like, people complaining / crying about really small matters. I know I'm bad but, I have this weird complex here. 

Today, there's this incident happen. There's this accusation about me. I don't really want to tell it in detail. Enough of that, I tried to control my temper real hard so that I won't go crazy simple scolding and curing people. Instead, there's this person who add fuel on my fire. Instead of supporting me, she made a joke out of it. I still have hopes for her to come back but now, no. Some people really need to understand why I'm doing this, when I'm really dissapointed with a person,, means..aish...nvm..

I was really, mad and at the same time, dissapointed. But now, I'm gonna stand up and move on. I'm not gonna let all of these people made my life miserable. I know god have eyes to see who's the bad and good guy. One day you'll know and learn your lesson . And I do really hope that you don't cry for it because you're the cause of it. Instead, move on and learn from your mistake. Look forward, remember your past and let it carry with you till the end of your life.

I don't think it reached you

Here again I'm gonna talk about the same matter again. No matter what, I would really like a person or wish a person to really, really, REALLY! Think twice before she acts/talk. 

Because if one step is taken wrongly, everything will go wrong. Sometimes I wonder, why are you still with her when she brings you trouble? 

It's not the first time she did all ridiculous things to you, she drag you into hellish time and made you go through hard times. And yet, why? 

Maybe we've been friends for such a short time, maybe I don't understand you too much, but can you at least think for yourself? Like for your own good? 

It's not that I'm pestering you to come back to us, it's just that, I'm really worried that you'll go through that hard times again. 

But, then you now, I don't really seem to pity you or care for you longer. Have you fallen into a dark pit? Should I reach out my hand for you? I no longer know.

Happy =)

Today I mustered all my courage to tell my father that I need a new violin, and he actually agreed ! So that's all...Now, another story.

          I was always thinking, if one can understand each other better, the world like a much more better place. Sometimes we thought that, a long term relationship might be the cause of a broken friendship/relationship but think twice, have you heard of couples who are married for more than 30yrs++ and does that prove to you that time affects relationship? Think again.Relationship/Friendship brokes because one doesn't cherish it. Opportunities are often given to you it's just that you don't cherish it.
              
 Changes in someone's character..we might wonder these 5Qs >
When? Why? What? Who? How?

                      These are the WH question often ask by him/herself. Why does this person change? What makes him/her change? Who influenced him/her? How does that happen? When does he/she start changing. So pay real attention to your surroundings. Make the right timing to confront him/her and talk to them if it's necessary. If the path he/she is walking is wrong, then take immediate action. If one doesn't make a move first, you'll lose him/her. Changes will happen at least twice a year. Yes, people really hate the fact that their precious friend/person are starting to change but what can we do? In conclusion , understand the person better, tolerate and talk to him/her if it's necessary.


Well, I've actually had a lot to say but, i forgot what since I'm supposed to post about this matter earlier but, I guess that's all for now. Bye!

No matter

                   NO matter how hard it is, I still have to go on. It sometimes hurt some much because there's some certain reason that I can't share my problem out. It's not that I don't trust them but I'm afraid that it'll be too annoying of me telling out all my personal problems out..Don't you think? I have uncountable problems...From every expect...it can even be long as a tissue roll if you want me to list it out one by one, under categories such as families, studies, personal problems, sickness and so on . Sometimes I just want them to know that life just can't be wasted by being sad all the time. 

                   

                    When I say I understand, means I understand the problem because me myself, even though we're at the same age/different, I've been through a lot of ups and downs. I wouldn't say that you shouldn't be a weakling and stop whining over small little problems,I won't say that your problem is no big deal..Because everyone has their own level of problems right? It's just that some people's problems are just too extreme than the normal ones. Anyway, like they say, ''pain can't be share'' So no of us would actually / exactly say that I understand what pain you've gone through.. sometimes I know people have to be sad/cry/whatever you would do when you're sad ..just to relief a lil' part of themselves but look out there. Don't you think there's so much people suffering out there? I think we should think of the happy stuff instead of sad ones ( I know it's hard to buy just try, there's been a several times I broke down but in the end I came back in one piece)

                    Sadness is just for a moment, it wont last long. Sometimes I too will grumble . Like now. XD I'm a little complex. People just wouldn't know what's going on with my mind. I try not to blame others, because I feel bad if I did so. Because in some certain situation like...''when you're the victim..the maker will feel bad for making fun of you..then in the end..that person feels bad..then you feel bad too for making her feel bad and instead you should have shut up instead of saying it out. .(get it?)The bad part is..the person is making you look like a bad guy *unintentionally*  Because of that, some of them out there would just kept quiet instead of saying a word. But it's not too bad also..since the person feels sorry then it's okay. it shows that ''he/she'' is feeling guilty right? Better than those out there felt guilty at that time then the next time forgot about it and then repeat the same thing again

''Those who forgot their past are condemned to repeat the same mistakes''

But then my friends -if you're reading this- No matter how hard life is I'll always be there for you.

Instead of sharing and comparing my problems to you, I'll listen attentively.
Instead of convincing you not to cry, I'll encourage you to cry your eyes out.
If you don't want to speak, I would not force.
If you want to share, I listen to it.
If the problem happens early in the morning/late night, I'll answer to it *I won't go mad. I promise =)*
If you want it to be that way, I won't say anything.
If you seek for advice, I'll try to give my best advice.
If you need help, I'll help.

Pure luck?

I got my results for both violin and piano exam. Passed =) Piano..I just pass with merits =/ I think the examiner was a bit far to strict! 127! Could you like just give the 3 marks to me? >,> It's just 3 marks..so near! yet so far....Life is so sad! Things just doesn't goes the way you want. XD A short update for this blog.

            Seriously, I'm emotionally down these days. I had this sudden feeling about something back then when I was Form 1. Seriously, it sucks so much. I don't think the work is pressuring but sometimes, I just thought, am I better of being 'hitori'? Or am I meant to be 'hitori'? Nanka...sabishii desu. ...Somehow, the things that I yearned for a long time was coming true but in the end...I guess it has to end too. The world itself is big for us to explore? Are these things worth my attention? People say, enjoy your youth before its too late but, is there anything for me to enjoy? Those happy moments seems too short for me. It is just not enough. I tried to be more on the positive side but still, the sad moments seems to be too over whelming .

         Words can't really be trusted. A simple word of forgot can clear stuff up? A simple word of  sorry can soften one's heart? I don't think so. Please people, could you please open your eyes bigger? Think twice before you act and speak? Because of your carelessness people are suffering mentally and emotionally. Emotions are unpredictable. Since emotions doesn't has a face, it can't be spoken out loud! You have to understand and please, stop the questions like...Are you angry? What if its so? Does it even make a difference? You say you're saying the truth, since you've lied to me...making a fool out of someone, how are you gonna expect anyone to trust you? Because of your careless act, you've just destroy a person's trust. Yet, you don't realize. If everyone would think twice before they act, won't the world be a better place?

         I'm not telling you to change, or whatever. It seems like, when I'm hurt, you yourself feels guilty and it's making me feel guilty too for making you feeling guilty? So what now? Am I suppose to stay that way forever? I don't really know what now. Am I being to lenient? Selfish? Self centered? Maybe if I shut my mouth and pretend nothing happens then nothing of this bad feeling will be spread to others. It's like, it's much more better if one person gets hurt instead of two. I always thought that, '' It's better to make friends more than making enemies'' How long can I keep this principle alive since those moments are dragging down my spirit?


''You say that you'll be there for me but where are you now?'' ''You say that ''zutto tomodachi dakara..nani yo, sore? Baka janai no ka teme? Hidoi ne omae....

Nanka..kurushii desu T^T

Seems like I've been dropping real hard. I don't think I'm gonna have any A's for the main subjects now. Maybe I should stop this computer addiction and get back on track. Doesn't really seem like me getting such poor results. Doing careless mistakes even though I've really study perfectly this time. Even so, why am I being so careless?

Change

Changes are not bad, it's necessary to make changes (sometimes). Did I mention how much of a bad luck I'm going through?

           1. I lost/misplaced my Grade 5 scales and arpeggios book.
           2. Science exam is coming up, I mean today!
           3. I lost/misplaced my Suzuki Violin Vol.4
           4. Having 3 different exams in a row. -Science,Violin and Music Theory (School's)

How bad can it go I wonder ? Well..that's a short post for today. Back to reality..STUDY..*sigh*

Plainly just people with no brains

Damn...thinking about it just make me so damn pissed. We did everything, did all the playing for you, notes, melody and what you all want now? Lyrics were photostatted..all you have to do now is just sing! Yea and I know it's hard singing also, to those out there, I appreciate very much who co-operated well with us but to those idiots who didn't even contribute anything, can you just shut up? You are just a normal student with no position. You did nothing to the class, instead, you gave trouble and plenty of shits and still you are complaining? What a great person you are, you just don't know what the word ''trouble'' means, what the word ''contribute'' means. Yeah, even though you see this post or I tell it straight to your face, will you change? Will you even say sorry? Will even like even have a slight of guilt? or sorry? I bet so, NO. All I know about you use, a solely useless person, who knows how to play, boss around, do things your own way, seeing things so easily and also give trouble. You really love the way you do things now isn't it? I'm telling you this truthfully and logically, basically, humans just don't like these type of person and I'm sure, if you know someone like I describe, I bet you'll just make that person's life miserable by bad mouthing her.

                 Why do you want to complain when you didn't do anything? Whats with you? I'm plainly frustrated now because of some people out there as I say...NO BRAINS...living out there. Yeah, you have the right to live and complain, well how about me? I bet if you were in my position now, you have just break down. With all the works I'm left here, piling up like mountains. Pressure suppressing happiness? Is this the way I should be living now? Is this the way? Go brush off your irritating    attitudes. I JUST DESPISE ALL OF YOU! *some of those people out there, not all xD* Get it? EVEN THOUGH I SAY IT OUT HERE, YOU JUST WONT UNDERSTAND! WILL YOU LEARN? WILL YOU GET REGRETTED? NO! SO SHUT THE FU*K UP!

If they are changing the songs, I don't think I want to play, unless they give me the scores or everything.

Bon Odori

Hey, seriously... I'm damn freaking disappointed man! They've never told us that coupons were limited 0.o! We went there 8p.m. and yea..everything finished! Great..We only get to see dances...and line dancing to the melody of Nobody =/ It's hot there...and no food to eat -.-...The area is supper small! And the best part is..why are they organizing it in an housing area? 0.o Anyway..I thought it should be great but instead in turns out to be bad..real bad...

It's real depressing

This round's exam is really making me depressing. Well probably I do deserve the results, or maybe I'm just plainly stupid or something. I can help being sad, I'm just not in the mood. I try to be happy though, well I did, sometimes, get over it but there just this empty feeling in my heart -.- It's a feeling of total lost. I really don't know what had happen to me. Yea, maybe I know, instead of saying I don't know. Maybe it's because of, I'm lazy, I played too much..I mean..WAY TOO MUCH...Not serious, Kokurikulum activities.

       Maybe those were the factors, but, once again, I shouldn't have use that as an excuse..between..I was supposed to post this like around 2 days ago? Anyway, terrible results =/ bye...

*p/s*
Had a real terrible headache for 2days continuously...

Atarashi no Sekai

Wind of beginnings, deliver your message
“Because at all times I believe in you”
LOVE THAT LINE 8D

Why don't I just post the whole song -.-


Hajimari no Kaze by Ayaka Hirahara


hajimari no kaze yo todoke MESSEJI
itsu de mo anata o shinjite iru kara

ano toki yume ni mite ita sekai ni tatte iru no ni
miwatasu keshiki ni ashi o sukoshi sukumase
dakedo ushiro furimukanaide aruite yuku koto kimeta kara
miageta sora nanairo no niji anata mo mitemasu ka

hajimari no kaze yo todoke MESSEJI
yume ni kakedashita senaka mimamoru kara
maiagaru kaze yo omoi o tsutaete
itsu de mo anata o shinjite iru kara
habatake mirai e

tatoeba taisetsu na hito o mune ni omou toki wa
dare mo ga kitto yasashii kao o shiteru hazu
michi wa toki ni hateshinakute mo akiramezu ni yuku yo

hajimari no kaze yo todoke MESSEJI
haruka na tabiji no sono saki de matteru
maiagaru kaze yo unmei mo koete
negai wa todoku to shinjirareru kara
itsuka mata aeta nara ano egao misete

hajimari no kaze yo todoke MESSEJI
haruka na tabiji no sono saki de matteru
maiagaru kaze yo unmei mo koete
negai wa todoku to shinjirareru kara
osoreru mono nado nai anata ga iru kara

Wind of beginnings, deliver your message
“Because at all times I believe in you”

Though I’m standing in the world that I had dreamt of back then
My feet draw back a little at the scenery I look about
But because I’ve decided to walk on, I won’t look back behind me
Are you also watching the seven-coloured rainbow in the sky that I looked up at?

Wind of beginnings, deliver your message
Because I watch over you as you dashed out into your dreams
Soaring wind, convey your thoughts
“Because at all times I believe in you”
Fly to the future

Everyone surely should have a gentle look
For instance, when you think about a precious person in your chest
Even though the road through time doesn’t end, I go without giving up

Wind of beginnings, deliver your message
I’m waiting for you ahead on your faraway journey
Soaring wind, surpass your fate as well
Because if I can believe that wishes will be granted
If we had been able to meet again someday, show me that smile

Wind of beginnings, deliver your message
I’m waiting for you ahead on your faraway journey
Soaring wind, surpass your fate as well
Because if I can believe that wishes will be granted
There is nothing to fear, “because you exist”

Random thoughts

Suddenly thought of some random lines..
Those lines were usually used to keep me going during hard times..


''There's always a solution to a problem, it's just a matter of time whether you're able to find it or not''
''The ending is just the beginning''
''Start thinking what you can do and don't waste time''
''It doesn't matter, the one whose at lost is you not me''
''Save time. Don't complain and do more work *-.-*''
'Everyone is equally the same, I think?''
''Be grateful..''


Well, yeah, I have a crazy mind =) So? I tend to think of nonsense when I have nothing to do..*laughs*


Sometimes I just can't depend on someone right? Just have to keep my mind positive and keep going, although sometimes, those so-called words of encouragement of mine that I kept mumble to myself doesn't seems working, but at least I tried =)

*now isn't it RANDOM =D*

Tomodachi

It nice to be born in this world isn't it? Some of you might thought that they might the world's most unfortunate human on Earth..but..aren't people lucky that they're born in this world? We'll especially those who blessed with bosom friends. The passive me last time thought that friends wasn't really essential for me, not wasn't really, you can put it as in, it's not important. Yup, I've been quite a solemn and a practical person which you can say I have partly no sincere emotions to people around me. I kinda feel guilty now that those were the days when I often fake my smile, pretending to be happy when there's a sad moment. Well sad to say, I'm still quite adapt to that habit, as we say, habits are always hard to shake off.


          Me as a human being living for almost 14 years is yet to experience more about life, and of course, I've just realize that how wonderful life is. I was really lucky to know supportive friends last year. Must have been fate that brought us together. Well, I didn't really pay much of a attention to them last year compare to this year. Must have been those time when I'm just to use to daydream.

         I have to say that this year was quite a hectic, but somehow, I pulled off. Class problems and all sorts of stuff which is related mostly to school. But what can I do? Just keep pushing on. I can't stay like this forever isn't it? There's no such things as no solution to a problem. As I realize, I thought, it wasn't bad facing all these problems. I'll just have to take that as a lesson. I know it'll be useful one day.

        Haha, enough of my personal matters, I've actually wanted to talk more about it but maybe, the next post. I'll continue the friend part. This is gonna be long so be prepared! I have to say that I numeral friends who are there to support me. To those of my friends who are reading, you might think that sometimes you'll feel very useless for not able to do anything. Not being able to give good advice. Thinking that you're a trouble maker. Not being to do anything... it can't be help right? Well having a sincere heart of helping is good enough. Nothing is greater than a sincere will of heart to help. In some situation, we only can just look and let them take action. We'll if it's so, why not let nature take course?

      I hope all this twist and turn of message here is sent to all of my friends, not just my friends, to the person out there who's in vain. I hope this post will make you feel much more better. I'm a victim of broken friendship because the past me has always been very very selfish thinking. So friends are free, you don't need money to buy, you only need sincere to make friends. Start by being friends with yourself  ( You can't love a person if you don't love yourself first)