Appreciation

Hmm, appreciation. It doesn't really relate to my topic here but anyway, here I go . 

I do really appreciate friendship and indeed I do treasure it. I know I might have treated you bad at times, that is why I need you to tell me. If anything is really going wrong about me,tell me. There's times I thought, can I trust her? Will it be alright if I be her friend or something like that.

But now, the me was different, I accept changes no matter how hard it is *I do complain too but I got used to it eventually* because I've been through situations like this. I no longer thought of all those questions because I'm blessed with great friends. 

But recently, changes has come and destroy it but, is it really changes the cause of it? Or was it the person itself is destroying it? I believe the person itself is destroying his/her happiness. I'm not particularly saying anyone here but when happiness goes, it's partly your fault. Think of  have you did. 

Sometimes I really can get frustrated about small things like, people complaining / crying about really small matters. I know I'm bad but, I have this weird complex here. 

Today, there's this incident happen. There's this accusation about me. I don't really want to tell it in detail. Enough of that, I tried to control my temper real hard so that I won't go crazy simple scolding and curing people. Instead, there's this person who add fuel on my fire. Instead of supporting me, she made a joke out of it. I still have hopes for her to come back but now, no. Some people really need to understand why I'm doing this, when I'm really dissapointed with a person,, means..aish...nvm..

I was really, mad and at the same time, dissapointed. But now, I'm gonna stand up and move on. I'm not gonna let all of these people made my life miserable. I know god have eyes to see who's the bad and good guy. One day you'll know and learn your lesson . And I do really hope that you don't cry for it because you're the cause of it. Instead, move on and learn from your mistake. Look forward, remember your past and let it carry with you till the end of your life.

I don't think it reached you

Here again I'm gonna talk about the same matter again. No matter what, I would really like a person or wish a person to really, really, REALLY! Think twice before she acts/talk. 

Because if one step is taken wrongly, everything will go wrong. Sometimes I wonder, why are you still with her when she brings you trouble? 

It's not the first time she did all ridiculous things to you, she drag you into hellish time and made you go through hard times. And yet, why? 

Maybe we've been friends for such a short time, maybe I don't understand you too much, but can you at least think for yourself? Like for your own good? 

It's not that I'm pestering you to come back to us, it's just that, I'm really worried that you'll go through that hard times again. 

But, then you now, I don't really seem to pity you or care for you longer. Have you fallen into a dark pit? Should I reach out my hand for you? I no longer know.

Happy =)

Today I mustered all my courage to tell my father that I need a new violin, and he actually agreed ! So that's all...Now, another story.

          I was always thinking, if one can understand each other better, the world like a much more better place. Sometimes we thought that, a long term relationship might be the cause of a broken friendship/relationship but think twice, have you heard of couples who are married for more than 30yrs++ and does that prove to you that time affects relationship? Think again.Relationship/Friendship brokes because one doesn't cherish it. Opportunities are often given to you it's just that you don't cherish it.
              
 Changes in someone's character..we might wonder these 5Qs >
When? Why? What? Who? How?

                      These are the WH question often ask by him/herself. Why does this person change? What makes him/her change? Who influenced him/her? How does that happen? When does he/she start changing. So pay real attention to your surroundings. Make the right timing to confront him/her and talk to them if it's necessary. If the path he/she is walking is wrong, then take immediate action. If one doesn't make a move first, you'll lose him/her. Changes will happen at least twice a year. Yes, people really hate the fact that their precious friend/person are starting to change but what can we do? In conclusion , understand the person better, tolerate and talk to him/her if it's necessary.


Well, I've actually had a lot to say but, i forgot what since I'm supposed to post about this matter earlier but, I guess that's all for now. Bye!

No matter

                   NO matter how hard it is, I still have to go on. It sometimes hurt some much because there's some certain reason that I can't share my problem out. It's not that I don't trust them but I'm afraid that it'll be too annoying of me telling out all my personal problems out..Don't you think? I have uncountable problems...From every expect...it can even be long as a tissue roll if you want me to list it out one by one, under categories such as families, studies, personal problems, sickness and so on . Sometimes I just want them to know that life just can't be wasted by being sad all the time. 

                   

                    When I say I understand, means I understand the problem because me myself, even though we're at the same age/different, I've been through a lot of ups and downs. I wouldn't say that you shouldn't be a weakling and stop whining over small little problems,I won't say that your problem is no big deal..Because everyone has their own level of problems right? It's just that some people's problems are just too extreme than the normal ones. Anyway, like they say, ''pain can't be share'' So no of us would actually / exactly say that I understand what pain you've gone through.. sometimes I know people have to be sad/cry/whatever you would do when you're sad ..just to relief a lil' part of themselves but look out there. Don't you think there's so much people suffering out there? I think we should think of the happy stuff instead of sad ones ( I know it's hard to buy just try, there's been a several times I broke down but in the end I came back in one piece)

                    Sadness is just for a moment, it wont last long. Sometimes I too will grumble . Like now. XD I'm a little complex. People just wouldn't know what's going on with my mind. I try not to blame others, because I feel bad if I did so. Because in some certain situation like...''when you're the victim..the maker will feel bad for making fun of you..then in the end..that person feels bad..then you feel bad too for making her feel bad and instead you should have shut up instead of saying it out. .(get it?)The bad part is..the person is making you look like a bad guy *unintentionally*  Because of that, some of them out there would just kept quiet instead of saying a word. But it's not too bad also..since the person feels sorry then it's okay. it shows that ''he/she'' is feeling guilty right? Better than those out there felt guilty at that time then the next time forgot about it and then repeat the same thing again

''Those who forgot their past are condemned to repeat the same mistakes''

But then my friends -if you're reading this- No matter how hard life is I'll always be there for you.

Instead of sharing and comparing my problems to you, I'll listen attentively.
Instead of convincing you not to cry, I'll encourage you to cry your eyes out.
If you don't want to speak, I would not force.
If you want to share, I listen to it.
If the problem happens early in the morning/late night, I'll answer to it *I won't go mad. I promise =)*
If you want it to be that way, I won't say anything.
If you seek for advice, I'll try to give my best advice.
If you need help, I'll help.

Pure luck?

I got my results for both violin and piano exam. Passed =) Piano..I just pass with merits =/ I think the examiner was a bit far to strict! 127! Could you like just give the 3 marks to me? >,> It's just 3 marks..so near! yet so far....Life is so sad! Things just doesn't goes the way you want. XD A short update for this blog.

            Seriously, I'm emotionally down these days. I had this sudden feeling about something back then when I was Form 1. Seriously, it sucks so much. I don't think the work is pressuring but sometimes, I just thought, am I better of being 'hitori'? Or am I meant to be 'hitori'? Nanka...sabishii desu. ...Somehow, the things that I yearned for a long time was coming true but in the end...I guess it has to end too. The world itself is big for us to explore? Are these things worth my attention? People say, enjoy your youth before its too late but, is there anything for me to enjoy? Those happy moments seems too short for me. It is just not enough. I tried to be more on the positive side but still, the sad moments seems to be too over whelming .

         Words can't really be trusted. A simple word of forgot can clear stuff up? A simple word of  sorry can soften one's heart? I don't think so. Please people, could you please open your eyes bigger? Think twice before you act and speak? Because of your carelessness people are suffering mentally and emotionally. Emotions are unpredictable. Since emotions doesn't has a face, it can't be spoken out loud! You have to understand and please, stop the questions like...Are you angry? What if its so? Does it even make a difference? You say you're saying the truth, since you've lied to me...making a fool out of someone, how are you gonna expect anyone to trust you? Because of your careless act, you've just destroy a person's trust. Yet, you don't realize. If everyone would think twice before they act, won't the world be a better place?

         I'm not telling you to change, or whatever. It seems like, when I'm hurt, you yourself feels guilty and it's making me feel guilty too for making you feeling guilty? So what now? Am I suppose to stay that way forever? I don't really know what now. Am I being to lenient? Selfish? Self centered? Maybe if I shut my mouth and pretend nothing happens then nothing of this bad feeling will be spread to others. It's like, it's much more better if one person gets hurt instead of two. I always thought that, '' It's better to make friends more than making enemies'' How long can I keep this principle alive since those moments are dragging down my spirit?


''You say that you'll be there for me but where are you now?'' ''You say that ''zutto tomodachi dakara..nani yo, sore? Baka janai no ka teme? Hidoi ne omae....

Nanka..kurushii desu T^T

Seems like I've been dropping real hard. I don't think I'm gonna have any A's for the main subjects now. Maybe I should stop this computer addiction and get back on track. Doesn't really seem like me getting such poor results. Doing careless mistakes even though I've really study perfectly this time. Even so, why am I being so careless?

Change

Changes are not bad, it's necessary to make changes (sometimes). Did I mention how much of a bad luck I'm going through?

           1. I lost/misplaced my Grade 5 scales and arpeggios book.
           2. Science exam is coming up, I mean today!
           3. I lost/misplaced my Suzuki Violin Vol.4
           4. Having 3 different exams in a row. -Science,Violin and Music Theory (School's)

How bad can it go I wonder ? Well..that's a short post for today. Back to reality..STUDY..*sigh*