Part 1

Child Abandonment.

This issue is something which is very close to me. Something which I can greatly relate to and I think sharing it out to the public would help myself and those who are facing the same problem as I did. I grew up with a caretaker hired by my parents. I was under her care for almost 16 years alongside with my sisters. 

My parents divorced when I was 15. I knew it was coming that time. It didn't really bother me much emotionally as I was very used to their fights. We all were, my sisters too. I was the middle-child and believed to have suffered from this infamous middle-child syndrome. I was mostly emotionally neglected and I was pretty much of an attention seeker. I tried doing well academically as well as in other extra co-curricular activities. In spite of all the effort I put in and the achievements I've made, there is just no fate between both of my parents and me. They rarely took notice of me.I was just a kid but I clearly know what bias meant. I comfort myself often by trying to stay as optimistic as I can. I started comparing my life with those who are much more unfortunate than me, yet I still feel the emptiness in me.Contradictions came in. I have a good life, with all the basic needs I have but emotional support is just something I lack of. The attention from your family. The love of a mother. A void that I desperately tried to fill but the guilt of being a burden to others gushes into my bloodstream. On and off, on and off. As I grew up, I learned to be independent which I think it is an advantage to me. I did well in school, I have friends and school life was normal. I got adapted to the way of living with this void. I moved forward. Well, at least that is what I thought. 

When I turned 16, things started to change. 

Student Exchange Interview

Well, it's late night. I'm nervous for the interview, student exchange interview. I'm not rich, therefore I really hope by all means I'm granted a scholarship for this! Even if I fail, I'll keep trying. It has always been my dream to go abroad. Yup...maybe you can't feel my desperation here but yea, I'm actually pretty desperate. Why am I so desperate for it? Simply because I wanna see the world! I wanna adapt myself into a totally new environment especially in a non-English speaking country. Pretty challenging but I like it. So, I've opted for Japan and USA. I would be extremely happy if I can make it to Japan. Be it 2-4 weeks or a semester. I will be happy too if I made it to USA  :) well, as long as it's an exchange program. I do hope they don't judge me too much based on my results. I ain't smart you know? I've never been in the top 20s in school before. The best position I got was 30/200+ student. While some of them might spend time researching about Malaysia and the country their opting for but....just what exactly am I doing? I do have some experience being interviewed as I applied for the same program last year. Unfortunately it was cancelled. Even so, I definitely did not waste any time being there as I do learned a lot from some returnees and at least, well...the least...I get some picture of how the interview was carry out? and how things were working out. I looked up to a lot of people there. The standard was so high, I almost lost my self esteem! I hope at least, I made it through the first round :( I'm not that nervous, I'm kinda excited actually. But any ways, I hope I manage move the interviewers. I seriously need this! For some reasons actually. :) To those who are going through the same thing as me, be confident, sincere through out the whole interview and stay as calm as possible. It's okay if you don't make it. At least you've done your best. Leave that place without regrets! KUDOS AND BEST OF LUCK!

Talk a lot in school today. Did some offerings for Hungry Ghost Festival and there's no school tomorrow :) Happy Independence Day Malaysia!

How I spend my one week school holiday

Body shampoos...pampers..garbage bag...biscuits...

 This is how I started my holiday. Went shopping for some goods for the disability centre. It's for charity done by the club I'm in Convent Catholic Society .

The pretty dog in tuition

 I went for additional mathematics tuition on Saturday as usual.....

Platform

 Rode on a train to Kuala Lumpur with my sisters only. Yes, it was fun just sitting in the train. Why is it fun? cus' simply I've never been in one before :)

Waiting for the very-much-delayed train.

 Being in the train for the first time and the journey got suspended halfway in the middle of nowhere. Talk about luck!

Mid Valley The Gardens

 Did some shopping there. Before that we were in KLCC browsing for some books in Book Fest' organized by Popular. Books were cheap, a great deal...bought 2 books. One for my friend and another friend as a souvenir and a present. 

I have to admit, this book is good.

Kinokuniya is the heaven of all Japanese books/magazines. I found a magazine writing an article about UVERworld. Blissful~

While I was waiting for the food to come in Canton-i, went Shoujiya and bought some Japanese sweets. Expensive sweets it is!

AWESOME CHOCOLATES!

After dinner, it's time for me to go back to Ipoh. Went KL Central and waited for the train. This time, it's much better. 

I'm reading while taking pictures...oh yeah :0

My youngest sister reading her manga.

And that is how my holiday ended. Peace out!

Yea I wonder. A lot of things has been going on. Problems are piling up and so on. School was always fine, that is one thing I've never really worry about in life. All I have to do is study when the time comes and reach for my next aimed position in future. It was very silly of me to think that school was a hassle back then. Now that I've come across more in life, things such as worrying about school has now became a small matter to me. Now, when I get the big picture,  surprisingly, I was pretty calm. It has its own good way of it but somehow, I wish I'll react to it more. Showing no sign of reaction 'it' makes me  think that I've actually or practically turned into  a pretty cold person. Was I not bothered about it? Even if it's so, that is just not right. Well, I am sad but I don't seem to bother about being sad any more nor I bothered being specially happy too. I still love life, and appreciating life but I wish I could react more to situations like this sometimes. I wish sometimes, I could tell and actually make someone realize that, life isn't sad and there are people out there who face more difficulties in life than us. Somehow, it just came to me, being sad or not doesn't matter any more. If things has to go on that way, I have no choice but to follow. For as long as I'm still a teen, I have no right to deny or request. Because asking too much is just a pain in the ass. Complaining too much to someone, is just wasting my breath. Though I hate the fact that I have to restrict myself from talking too much about my problems to some one I'm suppose to. I just hate it. This is why people shouldn't judge a person when he/she doesn't know he/she well. There is always a story behind everyone not meant to be discovered. Even if I have the freedom to talk about it, I shall not. For some reason, my heart just doesn't let me do so. I have the responsibility to take it all and solve it all. In future I know, I will live a better life. I believe I will because God is there. I just have to be patient for the meantime. Even if it's 10 years from now, 20 years after and so on.

Blogging early in the morning 2:45a.m. Nothing to do, don't fill like sleeping, spammed with random thoughts and yes, it's very very random. School's starting soon. Back to normal routine life. Yes.

Ya know...
If there's something you don't like, it's better saying out. I'd prefer how things work like that rather than people keeping it to themselves. I know it's hard but it's just better being so.
I've always been thinking people should really stop thinking of themselves. There's times when there's some certain people who are the ones at fault acting all like they're the ones who are the victim. Really hate that.
Sigh. Especially adults. Happens to me a lot of time, have no choice but to get over it.

Yes...random eh? :)
My point here is, be a better person and you'll live a better life. What's the point of being all so stuck up in your own pessimistic world? Care more about people if you don't, forget about it. Start by giving less trouble to people and do more for yourself by being a better you. I'm not in a position to say anyone but at least, that's what I thought. Ciao ;)

Sakamichi no Apollon

It's an awesome anime. I actually came across Sakamichi no Apollon ( Kids on Slope ) by coincidence :) I was pestering my sister to watch this cus' the are seems interesting. Kept insisting her to watch and in the end she gave in. Wow, this anime is really awesome. Like VERY AWESOME. It's an anime about jazz music :D So wonderful. I'm not a real big fan nor I know well about jazz, but this anime makes me love jazz! All those jazz music introduced were phenomenal. They modified it a lil' bit but it was nice. Jazz actually lead to one's friendship and love. The jamming scene made me go high every time without fail. Here's a synopsis about Sakamichi no Apollon:

Kids on the Slope (坂道のアポロン Sakamichi no Apollon^?, "Apollo on the Slope") is a Japanese manga series by Yuki Kodama. It has been adapted into an anime television series subtitled Kids on the Slope in 2012.^[1] It is directed by Shinichirō Watanabe at MAPPA and Tezuka Productions with music provided by acclaimed composer Yoko Kanno, reuniting the two who previously worked together onMacross Plus and Cowboy Bebop.^[2] The anime has been licensed in North America by Sentai Filmworks.^[3]

The beginning of summer, 1966.

Because of his father's job situation, freshman high school student Kaoru Nishimi moves by himself from Yokosuka to Kyushu to live with relatives. Until then, Kaoru was an honor roll student who tended to keep to himself, but meeting notorious bad boy Sentaro Kawabuchi starts to change him. Through his devil-may-care classmate, Kaoru learns the attractions of jazz and finds the first person he can call a “friend.” He also discovers how much fun it is to play music with a pal.

Other characters include Sentaro's kind childhood chum, Ritsuko, who is the daughter of a record shop owner; the mysterious upperclassman, Yurika; and Brother Jun, the much-admired leader among their peers.

sources form wikipedia.com

Here's the trailer :

Some music to share with you all :)

Moanin' - Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers

A scene in of them performing for the first time in public. **smexy voice alert*

School festival improvised medley performance :)

Welcoming 2012

--2012--

2012 is here.

 My school holidays are ending soon. 

Can't wait to see my friends again! 

There's a lot of things I want to archive this year. 

I hope I can keep my words and will together and put it into action.

 lol .

 School's starting on 04.01.2012. 

I wonder if I'll get use to writing dates in 2012. 

To all of you out there I would like to wish you 

Ｈａｐｐｙ　Ｎｅｗ　Ｙｅａｒ！！！

明けましておめでとございます！今年もよろしくお願いします!

Ｓｅｌａｍａｔ　Ｔａｈｕｎ　Ｂａｒｕ！

Ｉ　ｗｉｓｈ　ｙｏｕ　ａｌｌ　ａ　ｈａｐｐｙ　ｈｅａｄ　

ｓｔａｒｔ　ｆｏｒ　２０１２！

be　ｈｅａｌｔｈｙ！Ｂｅ　ｈａｐｐｙ！　And  GOD BLESS YOU!

31.12.2011

It's New Year's Eve!

It was a fun day today. Went Capcom with my sistas! 

Played the guitar game and race game again! FUN 

On the way to dinner. 

I saw rainbow~

 So pretty :D Some pictures !

30.12.2011

Behold my not-so-look-a-like banana cake :)

It was my first time baking banana cake. 

Turn's out great! Only thing is,

 I need to add more banana in it :) 

You can still taste the banana in the cake 

so it's fine I guess. Haha

150g melted butter (room temperature)

100g sugar ( I reduce it by 50g because of the bananas)

150g cake flour

Sifted it thrice

3 beaten eggs.

I didn't take much photos ._. I was too busy on the cake. Anyway, the outcome was satisfying. Better than I expected. at least

25.12.2011

It's Christmas :)

It's a post now about Christmas :) Honestly, this was the best Christmas I've ever had. We had a lot of fun. Had Christmas lunch. Drank wine. Inviting people in the house to join is this blessed celebration. Savoured by great home-cooked food by my nanny.

Black sesame tong yuan (Taiwan imported lol)

LOOK AT THE FILLINGS! <3

My dog emoing after the hair cut....T_T

Christmas Lunch in East Ocean Menglembu.
 I drank white wine :)
 Don't worry. I didn't get drunk that day.
As well as the day before when I drank red wine! lol

Made fruit cake~

22.12.2011

RESULTS
+
GOH THONG
(Glutinous Rice Festival)?

You bet it was some combination there.

 But lucky thing everything went unexpectedly good. :) 

Some picture of the process of my Goh Thong Festival ;)

Making the soup base for the tong yuan

Close the lid and let it be for...um..I don't exactly know how long...

Actually ate more tong yuan on the 25th! Refer to that post ;)

21.12.2011

:)

The outing that we've been asking for! My friend's ever first movie in a cinema.

 Pretty epic eh?  

Haha! We were planning and sorting out our after PMR fun entertainment activities. 

Seems like it didn't turn out well. 

At least this outing was something really satisfying! 

Laave~Jia Shing~IN da food court

Discussions? haha

Candid ;P

Ya know...something happen in the food court. Well not a big thing actually, just a guy, fully neatly dressed interrupting our peaceful with his so-called charity speech. But in the end, we gave in. So yea.

Next agenda was, the movie, that my friend have been anticipating for :) We've watched Alvin and the Chipmunks 3. It was a nice movie (based on the feedback from the viewers in the cinema.It was quite positive...lol)

The we played clothes. Then we went Capcom. The guitar game damn nice! So was the race car!!! That's all. I missed the outing very much!!!!!

20.12.2011

Swords!

Went to buy Chinese Electric Tea Pot! 

Specialize for making herb drinks and all. 

Main stream for Chinese Medical Herbs and so? 

Not sure about it. Sold by some China people in a temple ( 9 Wong Yeh ) 

There's a lot of antique stuff. Really fascinated by it.  

Music player in the olden days.
Where you out a large huge disc and play the music. Uber cool ;)

Clock?

It gives me the time travelling feel

Old Granpa Clock!

16.12.2011

Walking to pasar malam/night market on 16.12.2011

Walk to pasar malam from my nanny's house!

 It was actually pretty far I have to say. 

Since we have company, 

the distance seems much more shorter 

and we kinda have a blissful walk.

19.12.2011

This is a late post. I wanted to blog down every event that has happen in 2011. I don't wanna forget those good memories happened in 2011.

1st! UVERworld's main vocalist and programmer : Takuya Shimizu~~
Made a cake as a dedication of my fandom towards him :D 1st attempt on sugar icing though. Haha!
His birthday was actually on the 21st of December. I have plans that day so I made it on the 19th :)

Tanjoubi omedeto~

Education Fair

Just came back from Syuen Hotel Ipoh. There's an education fair going on there. From 12 noon till 6pm. It's kinda like fate that I know there's such thing going on there. Got the brochure from my house gate! Haha. I thought there was just a fair from AUG about further studies. Seems like there are more colleges and university opening up stalls in this fair. Know a lot of stuff now about education and career path.  Expensive education they offer there. Especially fields that are related to medicine. These are the following things I've got from the fair. Pretty useful for future reference :)

BUNCH OF STUFF

IMU. Considering this place to further my studies. But too expensive.

BioMedic and Pharmacy

Olympia College

My friend and I went to Secret Recipe after that. Ordered cakes to feed our hungry stomach! The cake taste good but too sweet for me. Lucky thing I've ordered Black Coffee! After eating, ran to Parkson. Heavy rain pouring down. Got soaked wet. I was wearing jeans, so my jeans was soaking wet. It was fun running anyway in the rain  :DD That's all for today's update!