Overcoming disappointments

I have not mention but for your information, I've applied more than 16 scholarships including sponsorships by NGOs and Government and I've not successfully got any of the scholarship I truthfully wanted. One of it will be Malaysia Matriculation ( Matrikulasi ), JPA Engineering Programme and Petronas. Despite being a fairly well rounded student possessing strings of A's, obviously I wasn't good or capable enough for all of it. 

Which led me to this question : 

What exactly is wrong with me? 

One funny thing is, each and every time I applied for any programmes to Japan, be it by scholarship or paid, I can't get my hands of the programme. It's either my parents we not well off that time ( FYI, my youngest sister went for an paid exchange programme shortly after a few years ), programmes cancelled/not available any more.  

Call me superstitious, or am I just that unlucky?

I might sound ungrateful to you but I can't help but feel disappointed at times.
I tried hard for everything but all the things I worked for seemed so out of reach.

Am I giving up? Not just yet. 

It has always been a dream of mine to study abroad. By all means I would like to attain the ability and be worthy to be sponsored by big corps or the board of government.

From now on and every point onwards, do not give up.

The taste of failure might be bitter but nothing beats the sweetness of victory after saving yourself from drowning in a mud pool called failure. 

Failure doesn't mean you're unworthy, maybe, just maybe you're better of doing something else. 

You just need to work a little bit harder than anyone else, 

but remember the passion of yours must not lose to your worthy opponents.