Downfall ...

Test result wasn't that satisfying. Rather, disappointing. Should work hard now. I wonder if I'll keep my words, I'm always making false promises to myself and in the end, works are not carry our promptly. Damn. I think if this crappy attitude of mine keeps going on, I think I'll die soon. Practically I'm the type of person who hates to lose or fail. This time it was really bad. I think until I die, I'll still remember it.

          I guess this is what they call growing process. I should keep the blame to myself. But one thing I really hate it is when people start questioning about your problems and asked why are you doing this. I don't hate it but, it's just making me so uncomfortable. It was hard for me to answer when me myself can't answer it. I knew everything but it seems like when it comes to the end of it I forgot everything. Human is too complicated, so I think they should stop questioning. Nah...just don't like it. If it was my close friends, I don't really mind but, it will be the best if they don't ask. I feel better that way. Makes me feel guilty and sad at the same time.

           Guilty for committing such mistakes, sorry for disappointing so many people. You shouldn't have put such high hopes on me you know. Don't call me smart when I'm stupid. I'm not smart at all. I work hard too for my goal.  Depending plainly on my brain doesn't help at all. I'm not that type of genius. Not at all. Damn sad, really sad.


          Lesson to all the lazy kids/the same type of person as me/whatsoever  people out there. Study hard or you'll regret. Do what you're suppose to be doing and stop the nonsense immediately. I bet if you change now, you'll still make it on time. It takes some time though. It's tough. I'm still on with my bad habits of sitting long hours in front of the computer, but at least now, I made some time for studying. At least for an hour. If I don't do that, I think when there's another test, I'll seriously feel really really sad. A sadness will with regretion. haha, how bad could things be.